Advice from my Evil Daddy
by Rebbeca Tennant
Summary: Doofenshmirtz goes to Mcdonalds with Vanessa but is having some trouble, but he meets another Dad with three young daughters who may be able to help him. It's about time these two met!
1. Its Better with Two Evils

"I told you Dad I don't eat at McDonalds!" scowled Vanessa as she crossed her arms "I think the food here is barbaric!"

The evil scientist smiled apologetically "oh come on sweetie its not so bad here look they got ice cream"

The singsong voice her dad said I in made Vanessa shudder even more "id rather not"

"I gotta take you somewhere to eat on our daddy daughter days"

"Don't call it that I'm not 8"

"Well you know what I mean"

"…I'm lucky Perry hasn't shown up aren't I?" Vanessa sighed as the food finally arrived and she slumped down in her seat

Doofenshmirtz contemplated this fact stroking his chin "yeah I suppose although that platypus employee over there does look veeeeeery suspicious"

Vanessa hit her head with her hand in a face palm sighing aggravated why do I even bother..?

Doofenshmirtz felt hurt by this remark but suddenly perked seeing something and with lightning speed got a napkin

Vanessa cringed as she felt some wet clothe on her face "Dad what the-?"

You have some ketchup on your face…

Vanessa was so tempted to smack her dads hand away but decided just to grab her food and leave "I'm having a take-away, away from you!"

"Vanessa wait!" but before you could say 'big whopper' she had already stormed out the door nearly hitting a man on the way out.

"Agnes careful of people coming out the door" a worried girl wearing classes said to the unicorn dressed girl

"Sorry…" the unicorn impersonator looked up at the other girl with a mess of blonde hair trapped under her pink hat as she sat on the back of the man's shoulders

"Yikes somebody got issues.." the bald man murmured looking back at the teen girl who had just thundered past them "Ok girl's where would you like to be sitting?"

Suddenly two yellow creatures run out from behind him jumping into a swivel chair and the other jumped right next to a family squishing them against the wall.

He pinched the bridge of his nose "no did I say Dave? No, no I did not I said girls."

The minions moaned dragging their small feet back to their master "bawww…"

While this was all going on Agnes had ran up to a man wearing a lab coat with curious eyes, Doofenshmirtz looked down at her weakly but then got startled being caught off guard "ah! Er...hello little girl"

"Your nose is pointy" she pointed out with her finger making the doctor go crossed eyed

"Yeah erm many people have pointed that out…" he touched his nose consciously

Doofenshmirtz saw a person half running towards them and then crouching down to the young girls height letting his scarf drag on the floor "Agnes don't talk to strangers we've talked about this young lady"

He blinked and the evil men's eyes met "sorry about that…she's a curious one I can be telling you that"

"Oh it's ok really I have a daughter of my own so I know" he could sense the other two girls looking at him from the next table beside him

"Dad this table's free" the eldest said sitting down next to her sister

He sat down Agnes with her legs dangling and sat in the seat across from Doofenshmirtz "Thanks Margo, have you girls decided what you want yet?"

"Happy meal happy meal happy meal" the three girls chanted simultaneously which couldn't stop the two men smiling. The dad of the three girls called the minions back letting them get the girl's orders and his own burger and the girls had already started the colouring pages on the back with Agnes doodling unicorns on the back of hers.

"I'm Doofenshmirtz by the way" he finally said finishing his own meal smiling at the other person next to him

"Oh my name's Gru" he smiled in return leaning his arm back on his seat "so you're a…pharmacist I take it?"

He twitched but kept it down "N-no I'm an evil scientist."

Doofenshmirtz suddenly saw Gru's blue eyes lit up "Evil?" he repeated in his Russian accent "I'm familiar in that field"

"No way!" he spun round in his chair so now they were facing each other "I kinda gathered from the yellow…things over there but I don't think I've seen you around the evil scene"

"Ah those are my minions, I have more at home but the limit for family outings is two"

"Makes sense," Doofenshmirtz shrugged looking at the girl's "are they all yours?"

Gru smiled the smile you only see from parents, a mixture of pride, love and exhaustion "Yes they are mine, de little one in de unicorn t-shirt in Agnes eez de youngest, de girl in pink is edith and de eldest eez Margo"

"Nice" he dug into his pocket finding his wallet showing Gru one of the many pictures of Vanessa "I only have the one and she's sixteen now"

Gru laughed lightly "a few more years and these girls will be that age"

"Trust me it just flies by, be grateful now while they're this age and still sweet"

"Typical teenager?"

"Typical GOTH teenager"

"ahhh" Gru nodded understandably "How eez that going?"

"I think you met her as she stormed out…" he leaned his head on his hand

"oh…" Gru patted Doofenshmirtz on the back "she'll come around, they always do"

Doofenshmirtz looked at him weakly "do you think so?"

"They might hate you now but deep down they love you to pieces" he turned to his daughters "isn't that right girls?"

The girls were too busy drawing and eating to really pay attention

"…thanks for helping my point out" he rolled his eyes

"So what do you do when they act up?"

"well I usually just do something they are interested in, like de girls wanted me to go to dis fair and I went with them and not only did they love eet I love eet too. It works on de both levels"

Doofenshmirtz thought "your girls...do they take an interest in your w-work too?

Gru shook his hand "ehhh here and a there, the odd scheme or two. If you scratch their back they will be scratching yours"

Doofenshmirtz smiled "hmm maybe your right…"

As if on cue Vanessa walked through the door not looking at her dad "Dad I need money for food, I found the food here inedible…"

Doofenshmirtz got up "of course, where would you like to eat? I'll take you anywhere"

Vanessa blinked "well there was that place down the street…but you never let me eat there with you you always said it was too dark and the music was too loud and sounded like someone strangling a cat"

Doofenshmirtz smiled wrapping an arm round Vanessa "Honey if you wanna eat there I'll eat there with you. I'd do anything for you"

Vanessa smiled pulling away jokingly "Dad your embaressing me..!"

The two walked out the restaurant and Doofenshmirtz gave Gru a thumbs up as a thank you.

Gru smiled "they are going to be aaaaaaaalright" he looked over to see his two minions walking back "What took you guys so long?"

They came back Gru's order pointing back at the counter "bebop gabba gabba"

"Really? ...I guess you don't see that everyday."

The burger suddenly let out a small nauseous gas causing Gru to fall over the minions and his family laughing around him not knowing that the platypus employee thought Gru looked a lot like Doofenshmirtz from a distance.


	2. The Daddy Daughter Days

Gru rubbed his sore head blinking in a strange purple looking environment. He had no idea where he was and could see a fuzzy teal green blob in front of him…or was it teal blue? Let's just say teal, his head hurt too much from the unknown blow to make up an imaginary argument right now.

Perry the Platypus was sitting on a chair opposite him looking at his communication device with, from what Gru could see a moustachioed old man.

"Amazing agent P, this man has evil intentions and you have already arrested him and Carl did some background information on him it turns out he was the man who stole the moon!" Perry looked back at the evil bald man who he had tied up with his own scarf, his nemesis would never look good bald.

"I demand to know where I am!" Gru said finally coming round

"Oh dear he's coming round…Agent P turn me towards him" the platypus did so and Gru saw Major Monobrow

"Where am I? Who are you people!" he demanded trying to struggle his hands trapped in the cloth of his own stripy scarf, a sudden thought hit him "…where are my girls?"

"Calm down sir your just being arrested." Monogram said

Gru blinked now steaming with anger "On what charges?"

He let his little intern Carl hold up an entire record of despicable deeds "oh we've got a lot here."

Gru felt a strange sense of pride at the record but pressed on for information "where are my girls? They better not be harmed or so help me I'll-!"

"Perry what did you do with this man's daughters?" he asked actually confused himself

The little platypus shrugged, he remembered arresting him but not seeing the girls there at the time.

"Erm…we're not sure where your girls are I'm afraid" Monogram said embarrassed

Gru's eyes widened scared "Oh god they are on their own you know! Who is knowing what trouble they could get into?"

"This is great Dad" Vanessa said sitting in the spiked booth of 'The Vampire Voodoo Shack' restaurant

"What?"

"I said this is gr-!"

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

Vanessa half laughed "Never mind Dad, you're right the music is kinda loud here"

"You know I was talking to this guy in McDonalds while you were gone, he's a dad himself you know and he loves evil!"

"I'm not into evil dad but the dad part sounds nice, how many kids did he have?"

Doofenshmirtz still didn't hear her and pressed on "he has his own little minions and everything!"

"Kids aren't really minions' dad that's kinda mean" Vanessa said raising an eyebrow

"Oh and he had three little girls one of them was REALLY into unicorns, Agnes or something. I remember when you had your unicorn phase when you were about four, I even tried to genetically engineer a unicorn for you and you called it sprinkles and-"

Vanessa cringed hiding under a skull menu "Dad! Not so loud..!"

Margo lead her little sisters out of the McDonalds bathrooms sighing a little "Dave your lucky we're not gonna get kicked out from what you did to those toilets"

The minion snickered but stopped as Agnes cried out "where's Gru?"

The girls blinked in agreement their heart skipping a beat with Agnes trembling "we're home alone!"

"That's when you're at HOME stupid" Edith said rolling her eyes

Agnes ignored her and was nearly starting to cry "we're home alone we're home alone we're home alone we're home alone..!"

Margo held her young sister close "shh…Agnes it's ok…we'll find Dad"

Edith kicked her heels "he's probably abandoned us"

"You're not helping Edith!" Margo snapped

The minions were already looking under the table in an attempt to look for their master but instead found a small picture of a man with a palm tree style hair do with a small Goth girl. Margo saw and looked at the picture "Hey that was the guy Dad was talking to, maybe he knows where he went"

Agnes hiccupped down her tears letting one of the minions carry her on his shoulders "Let's find Daddy…"

The girls remembered the man saying something about a Goth restaurant and it wasn't too long until they found it, the scary interior stuck out like a sore thumb. The minions gripped onto the girls.

"It's ok guys, he's in there I know it. We just gotta be brave…dad would want that."

Agnes covered her eyes and held her big sister's hand walking inside. The minions did the same and followed them and they all went inside looking for Doofenshmirtz.

Gru was still stuck in the purple building the platypus in front of him still taking notes, the 'anything you say or do can be used in a court of law' thing agents had to do.

"Do you have…eggs? You strange pollywog"

Perry looked up at him taking notes and shook his head.

Gru sighed "if you did then you'd know how I feeling right now…"

Vanessa had finished her dinner and was now looking over at her Dad flicking through his wallet "what are you doing?"

"I suppose your wondering what I doing" he said still not able to hear her "I'm looking for one of the pictures of you and me I think I left it in McDonalds…"

"You mean this picture?" the little girl had her eyes closed but had held up the picture of Doofenshmirtz and Vanessa from a few years ago.

"Yes, yes that's it!" he took the picture smiling "hey don't I know you?"

"Yeah we're Gru's daughters, you met him in McDonalds about half an hour ago" Margo said behalf of her sisters "but he's gone missing, we don't know where he is"

"Well you're not going to find him with your eyes closed" Vanessa smiled

"Yeah but with the painting of the unicorn getting impaled by the other unicorn it's best she doesn't see it" Edith remarked

Doofenshmirtz shrugged "Makes sense" he patted the temporarily blind girl "Don't worry you can stay with me until your dad contacts you"

"We know his number but we don't have phones"

Vanessa handed them her phone "Here use mine, I'm Vanessa by the way and this is my dad Doofenshmirtz"

Gru felt a small vibration in his pocket and his face lit up "girls! That my girls ringing me oh they are so such smart girls!"

Perry picked up the phone for him and answered it himself with Margo on the other line "Dad it's me Margo where are you? We're here with a man called Doofenshmirtz so it's ok we're safe"

Gru could just about hear her daughter's voice from the phone "Margo! It's ok I'm here!"

Perry growled down the phone in his usual way and hung up leaving the girls baffled.

"What was that growling sound?" Edith asked, and she found Agnes imitating it smiling

"G-g-g-grrrt! G-g-g-grrrt!" she giggled

But Doofenshmirtz got up "that's the sound Perry makes! I think Gru might be at my building!"

The minions gulped in unison worried for their master's safety as Doofenshmirtz paid the bill and the four girls left the restaurant.

Perry had already fallen asleep as the backup as usual was taking forever and Gru was starting to free himself. The scarf ripped slightly and let him free sneaking past the snoozing semi aquatic mammal.

Gru snuck past into the elevator and pressed a button to go down clutching onto his phone desperately "oh girls I hope you're safe please be safe please keep being safe..!"

The door opened to reveal a tall looking pharmacist, a Goth teenager and his three little girls smiling up at him "yeah dad we're safe"

Agnes, who hadn't opened her eyes since the vampire voodoo shack finally, blinked her eyes open seeing Gru for the first time in what felt like ages "Daddy!"

She clinged onto his leg never wanting to let go and Gru smiled bending down embracing his daughters "Oh my girls you're all being ok!" he patted the girl's heads in turn "you didn't cause trouble I hope Edith, Agnes you stayed so brave and Margo you looked after your sisters and managed to find me I'm so proud of you all!"

Margo smiled "actually we couldn't have done it without Mr Doofenshmirtz here; this is his building and everything"

Gru got up and held out his hand to the doctor "How can I be thanking you for looking after my girls?"

Doofenshmirtz smiled shaking his hand "its no problem and don't say it like that it makes me sound like a nice guy"

Gru smiled back "I know your evil, I saw your lair it's very impressive."

The minions tugged onto Doofenshmirtz's legs eagerly and he blinked down at them "err…"

Gru laughed a little "they want to see it," he opened the elevator again "but I gotta warn you theirs like some sort of beaver duck up there. He tried to arrest me"

"Oh that's just Perry the Platypus" he shrugged it off smiling "you know how secret agents are"

By the time the gang got up there Perry didn't need a trap to withhold him; Agnes had already gripped onto him in a tight hug with the girls stroking his fur smiling. Gru and Doofenshmirtz had a very long talk about Evil devices comparing them and even planning their own evil schemes with Vanessa giving the odd glance in actual interest. Even Perry the Platypus was starting to like the girls as a good addition to the gang.

And they all promised each other, they'd keep in touch.


End file.
